Read More Fiction (30 of 40)

As a kid, I loved to get lost in books. I spent many summer days stretched out with nothing on my hands other than time and pages to turn. Other times, I would run near-scalding baths and submerge myself in imagination until the water became cold. There is nothing quite like a good book, one that seems to read itself and that calls to you like an unfinished project demanding your attention. 

I feel similarly about open boxes of cookies, but that's another story altogether. 

My love for fiction took a backseat in early adulthood. Probably pretty normal, considering raising young children leaves little consistent time for age-appropriate literary adventures. Don't get it wrong, the kids and I would visit the library and come home with dozens of storybooks. We'd hold up on the couch for a super fun first few days. Then we'd forget about them and about returning them in a timely fashion. I don't want to brag, but I once racked up $150 worth of late fees. It takes a special kind talent to make a free resource insanely expensive. #unicorn

Lack of opportunity wasn't the only thing keeping me from reading for entertainment in those years, though. My belief system at the time also left me feeling the need for constant improvement. If I were to read, I told myself, I should be reading the bible. If I wasn't reading that, then I should be reading something about being a better parent, or improving my marriage. There was an ever-present nagging to be doing more. I should-ed the joy right out of reading.

When Cash was in early elementary school, I decided to preview Harry Potter to see if he would like the series. It was a rare opportunity: to be in my thirties having never read the books or seen the movies and, miraculously, to have somehow missed every bit of spoiler information in regards to the series. Almost immediately, I found myself all in. I devoured the books, one after the other and I was at times intrigued, comforted, transported, thrilled and devastated. More than that, though, my love for reading was reignited.

In the couple years since I've been done with school, I have made an effort to expand my time in books, wanting to spend less of my life mindlessly scrolling and more of it sparked in imagination. Much like my synopsis of movies to see in a lifetime, I'm including a run-down of some of the more memorable recent reads below.

The Book of Longings, Sue Monk Kidd: A truly beautiful read about the wife of Jesus, a unique take on the strength and bond of women and of the humanity of Christ. 

Where the Crawdads Sing, Delia Owens: Part coming-of-age, part crime-drama, part lesson on self-reliance. All in all enjoyable.

The Signature of All Things, Elizabeth Gilbert: This one was highly reviewed and, although I enjoyed it, I wasn’t rushing home to read it. 

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, Gail Honeyman: A paradoxically light read on the impacts trauma.

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle, Stuart Turton: Brilliant mystery told through the various perspectives of the individual characters.

Where’d You Go, Bernadette? Maria Semple: A quick read highlighting the power of miscommunication and the fact that it’s never too late to live a big life.

Still Lives, Maria Hummel: Art and murder…a perfect compliment to my crime podcast phase.

The Guest List and The Hunting Party, Lucy Foley: Enjoyable thriller reads that kept me up at night…from interest, not from fear.

A Dark, Dark Wood; The Woman in Cabin 9; The Lying Game, all by Ruth Ware and all truly entertaining. The Lying Game was my favorite, though.

My latest trip to my local library’s book sale, afforded me a couple new novels to add to the list…and for the low, low price of $0.50! Clearly I can’t be trusted to rent books so it’s best to make the smaller investment up front. So far, The Last Mrs. Parrish by Lynne and Valerie Constantine and The Midnight Library by Matt Haig are worthy of mentions here as well.

P.S. If you’re wondering how I manage to generally pick books that I end up enjoying, I largely rely on Reese’s Book Club for inspiration. I haven’t been disappointed yet. 

Learn to Shoot a Gun (29 of 40)

I visited a gun range for the first time in my life last month. My friend, Andrew, offered to take me and teach me how to properly handle and shoot a gun. I didn't grow up with much exposure to guns or hunting, so I was about as novice as you can get. The conversation around gun-ownership and gun-violence is so heated and, like most of the divisive topics facing our society today, there are people I love and respect on both sides. 

A number of years ago, a president I did not vote for was elected into office. It was a hard election year all around. Many of us felt forced to choose who we viewed as the lesser of two evils, rather than a candidate we could fully endorse and support. When the dust settled and the votes were counted, I felt sucker-punched, the wind had been violently ripped out of me. It was hard for me to wrap my head around so many people voting for someone who I viewed as actively opposing the things I valued most. 

But here's the thing. Many of those people who voted differently than I, were ones I dearly loved. More than that, several of them were people I greatly respected. So, while it was tempting for me to feel personally victimized, to create a narrative of 'if you are not for me, you are against me,' I had a choice to make. I could allow our varied convictions to drive a wedge in our connection. I could dismiss an entire group of intelligent, interesting, valuable and worthwhile human beings solely because what informs them, does not inform me. I could paint them in my mind as caricatures and pat myself on the back for my self-righteous superiority. 

Or...

Or I could seek to understand what at first seems incomprehensible. I could set aside my hurt at an institution and remember the kindness an individual showed to me. I could ask questions and have challenging conversations that don't get wrapped in tidy bows at the end. I could realize that part of  what makes democracy great, is that not one of us is the same. 

Over my life, I have had my fair share of people leave. Time does that. Divorce definitely does that. What matters most to me, is connection and the ability to love another for who they are. I decided to value those things over politics, over religious convictions, and over ever-changing societal norms. Because if we don't love each other well, none of it really matters. This is my daily goal and my daily struggle. 

What does any of this have to do with guns, you ask? Now that I've typed all this, I'm asking myself the same thing. Honestly, I don't know and the irony is not lost on me. Handling a loaded gun, aiming it at the paper dummy dangling ahead, it felt complex and layered. Not simply the mechanism of the weapon (loading the ammunition, chambering a round, sighting the target, squeezing the trigger) or the responsibility to handle it safely (pointing the muzzle only towards the target, keeping my finger off the trigger until ready to fire, table-ing the weapon when not in use), but also the weight of the potential destruction I wielded. 

I felt the anxious responsibility of a single woman caring for the safety of her children in an increasingly dangerous world. I felt the fear of living in the current climate where our society is quick to cancel and our humanity is a liability. I felt reverence for the police officers I know, broad-brushed by the media as trigger-happy racists, but who are in actuality brave, fair and exceptionally excellent at a job I am not built for and who continue to show up for the greater good despite the inherent risk. I thought of the black community and I wondered what place a middle-class white girl has in the discussion of pain and restoration. 

I am not a proponent for guns, nor am I against them. The fact of the matter is, they exist. They are not going away. I am a proponent for safety and educating yourself on things that make you uncomfortable. I'm glad I learned the basics. And, at least according to Andrew, turns out I'm fairly deadly...in a well-controlled environment, at close range. 

Glacier National Park (28 of 40)

Over the years, I have been to my fair share of National Parks. For several summers when the kids were younger, we road-tripped our way to quite a few. One year we even made it as far east as the Badlands in South Dakota, logging well over 1500 miles and trekking through nine states in the process. One park on the wishlist was just out of reach that year: Glacier National Park. I had always wanted to go, if for no other reason than for the kids and I to see a glacier in its icy flesh before they all melt into oblivion. Lucky for me, my sister and her family agreed to meet us in Montana last year so we could all experience it together. 

Allow me, if you will, to nerd out for a bit about National Parks. Did you know that there are 63 designated national parks, but there are around 423 national park sites? The rest of the locations are designated as historic sites, monuments or recreational areas. Many of them also have a junior ranger program where kids can complete certain tasks and get "sworn in" as a Junior Ranger. There's also this cool program called Every Kid Outdoors that gives free entrance to 4th graders and their families to any national park.

After several national parks in a row one year, Ava got creative with her listening skills.

Each park had its own unique draw and in my humble opinion, not all are created equal. Take, for example, the above mentioned Badlands. Maybe I missed the appeal, but braving 110-degree temps for a bunch of sand-colored stone and some big-horned sheep hardly felt worthwhile, not to mention the hours-upon-hours of drive time it took to get there. We did see a pretty spectacular lightening storm one night, but Imma give credit to South Dakota as a whole for that one. 

Glacier, on the other hand, was exactly what I wanted a national park to be: slow, curvy roads that drift through dense green forests and alongside wide-mouthed glassy lakes.

Though quarantine in general did us very little favors, the normally heavily trafficked park was relatively empty, allowing plenty of opportunity to park, hike and relax creek-side. Going-to-the Sun road, which includes a 16-mile largely vertical ascent, winds dizzily through some of the most stunning scenery I've ever seen. The tight-wire drive is banked on one side by a sheer drop that left me about 70% certain we would die while simultaneously marveling, "Yeah, but what a way to go!" Cash, who happened to be trapped on the passenger side over-looking certain death, was less enthusiastic. 

All in all, I am super thankful for the Parks system and all the memories we have been so fortunate to make because of them. I've included a few highlights from over the years below.

Babies at Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

Watching the sunrise at Haleakala National Park, Maui

Yosemite National Park, California

Jumping Bean at Zion National Park, Utah

Dinosaur National Monument, Utah

Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming 

*IMHO, Yellowstone's Better Half

Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

Mount Rushmore National Memorial, South Dakota

Alcatraz Island, California *part of that 423

Golden Gate National Recreation Area, California

Joshua Tree National Park, California

Badlands National Park, South Dakota

*beige rocks, beige sand, beige beasts